Yes, I’m cashing in this ten-cent life …

Comin Thro’ The Rye.

O Jenny’s a’ weet, poor body,
Jenny’s seldom dry:
She draigl’t a’ her petticoatie,
Comin thro’ the rye!

Comin thro’ the rye, poor body,
Comin thro’ the rye,
She draigl’t a’ her petticoatie,
Comin thro’ the rye!

Gin a body meet a body
Comin thro’ the rye,
Gin a body kiss a body,
Need a body cry?

Gin a body meet a body
Comin thro’ the glen,
Gin a body kiss a body,
Need the warld ken?

Gin a body meet a body
Comin thro’ the grain,
Gin a body kiss a body,
The thing’s a body’s ain.

– Robert Burns

Hot licks and rhetoric

As a rule, you’re basically having a good day if you’re getting better press than Apple. Both the President and Apple are known for powerful public appearances, but Apple has a record of exceeding initial expectations, while Obama has thus far been unable to deliver on his most important promises.

CNN added an interesting twist to its political coverage this year, with a new tool to analyze Twitter chatter about the president’s speech. No word on why CNN seems to think that people who Tweet about politics have anything useful to say about the mood of the larger electorate.

An atheist’s Christmas wish list (for Christians)

OK. Here are some of the things I wish Christians would understand about me and my beliefs:

1. Please don’t try to convert me. In return, I won’t foist my atheism on you. Your chance of success is about the same as the chance someone will successfully convert you to Hinduism.

2. If you insist on trying, please do not employ a scripture-based argument. I don’t believe in scripture, so your argument simply doesn’t make any sense to me.

3. Don’t ask me to read the Bible. I’ve read it. It’s one of the main reasons I don’t believe in it.

4. I celebrate Christmas and do not feel like a hypocrite. There are no reindeer, elves or Santas in the Bible.

5. I have no problem with prayer in public schools. You can pray any time, anywhere. I do have a problem with organized prayers endorsed by public schools.

6. I think nativity displays are pretty. But they belong on church property, not public property. They are essentially advertisements for religion.

7. The Ten Commandments do not belong in public buildings. I agree that it’s bad to kill and steal, but the other commandments violate Constitutional rights to freedom of speech and religion. Post the Bill of Rights in every courthouse instead.

8. I consider myself a moral person. I follow an ethical system based the Golden Rule (which, by the way, is common to Christianity, Judaism, Islam and Buddhism). I believe morality is an outgrowth of rational self-interest and natural altruism.

9. I sometimes visit churches. I love the music and traditions and rituals. I believe it is psychologically healthy to confess your sins, to pray, and to celebrate communion with god or the universe or the force or whatever.

10. I am not even slightly worried about going to hell.

Keep the Ten Commandments out of the courthouse

The Ten Commandments have no business in U.S. courtrooms. They are in stark conflict with the U.S. Constitution and values and have no place in our courthouses or public buildings. A judge cannot follow both the Commandments and the law without violating one or the other.

Of the Commandments, only two can reasonably be described as valid bases for laws: the imprecations against murder and theft.

The first four commandments are clear violations of the religious liberties guaranteed under the Constitution. If a person of Hindu belief were to walk into a courtroom seeking justice and see these commandments, that person could reasonably conclude that his or her beliefs are illegal under the law. This stands in stark contrast to the First Amendment: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof …”

Commandment 3 breaks the First Amendment guarantee freedom of speech. Commandments 5, 9 and 10 are generally good advice, but probably also fail the First Amendment test.

It’s worth noting that even within Christendom there is no agreement on what the Ten Commandments say. They are never listed as such in the Bible, and they are worded differently in the books of Exodus and Deuteronomy. Protestant and Catholic groups traditionally break them down differently, with the Catholics understandably playing down the part about worshiping idols and graven images.

So if a law were passed requiring the Ten Commandments to be posted in every courtroom, immediate conflict would arise over which version to use. This, incidentally, is exactly why the Founding Fathers believed it wise to keep government out of the religion business, and vice versa.

The Ten Commandments in plain English:
1. You must worship no god except the Jewish/Christian/Muslim god, Yahweh (Jehovah).

2. You will not make or worship idols or graven images, like people of many other religions (not to mention lots of Christians) do.

3. You will not speak god’s name in vain.

4. Remember the Sabbath day (whichever day you happen to believe that is) and keep it holy.

5. Honor your father and your mother.

6. Do not murder (unless the government says it’s OK).

7. Do not commit adultery.

8. Do not steal.

9. Do not lie.

10. Don’t covet other people’s property.

Everything you did

Chinese music under banyan trees…

Beijing official: “We are spreading toilet culture. People can listen to gentle music and watch TV. After they use the bathroom they will be very happy.” Read more.

Laughing in the frozen rain

Pics from a rainy Independence Day. The big fireworks were canceled, so we had to make do. All photos taken by cell phone.

Dave

Dave & Shellye

Rob Gouge

Let there be fire …

… and rain …

… and sleep

I can see by what you carry …

Here’s how to tell if you’re gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Pretzel logic

Things I learned today:

* Don’t panic.
* Avoid doing anything stupid or illegal.
* Driving to work is a process.
* If you get a paper cut, you must fill out an accident report form.
* If the building is on fire and you’re asked to evacuate, don’t smoke.
Bonus vocabulary: To Onboard

I hear you’re leaving, that’s OK

Mike Daly, Connecticut Post managing editor

For anyone who doesn’t know, today is my last day at the Connecticut Post. It’s a bittersweet departure, as I’ve been there about a decade and have come to think of it as home.

I remember my first day here. It was 1994. I was in my last year of j-school and I had snagged an internship on the business desk. I showed up in a pressed white shirt, tie, a pair of jeans and some Docksiders. I felt pretty spiffy and was still getting myself settled when the editor, Rick Sayers (who in those days looked a lot like Uncle Pennybags from Monopoly) walked up to me.

“Mr. Crowder,” he said, “we don’t wear dungarees at the Connecticut Post.”

He walked off, leaving the words to resonate in my head. Since then, I never again wore dungarees to work, even when I got stuck working on weekends or holidays.

Today, I wore dungarees to work. I enjoy the symmetry of that.

Now I start a new career, working as a communications specialist (i.e., public relations) for the local utility. It’s daunting to set out in a new career path, and a little ironic, since for most of my career I’ve seen PR folks as sellouts or professional adversaries. (I’ve accused many an exiting journo of “crossing over to the Dark Side“; those words have since come back to haunt me.)

You can bet that I won’t wear dungarees on my first day, which is Monday.

My conception of career has never been a straight line to a specific goal, but rather a meandering garden path replete with forks, bumps and the occasional rake threatening to rear up and whack you in the face if you step on it.

I never set out to be a journalist. I took one journalism course during my first attempt at college. When I decided to take a second stab at higher education, I went to an enrollment fair at the local state university and, having decided that I’m a pretty good writer and don’t mind reading, I filled out the enrollment form for would-be English majors.

I was on my way back to the English department booth when I spotted the much smaller booth maintained by journalism department.

“You know?” I said to myself. “That just seems so much more practical.”

I crumpled up the piece of paper in my hand and never looked back.

Until now.